Hey there foodies, I have not posted in awhile but I am very happy to be putting this blog together for everyone this evening. This post is not food related but more so life related and I felt like it was important for me to “get it all out” put everything out in the open and hopefully, find some empowerment in doing so. I am sure you have read the title by now and you’re thinking to yourself “doesn’t everyone procrastinate.” Short answer….probably but that’s not the point. One of my biggest struggles in life, aside from Bi-polar depression, is dealing with procrastination and inconsistency. Take my blog for example: I have not posted in two months and I walk pass my computer almost every day thinking how I should post a blog but never get around to it. It’s not even like I was having a busy day and I truthfully didn’t have time, I would much rather sleep or watch TV. I never really wanted to think of myself as a lazy person but the struggle is too real not to be real about it. I find myself frustrated, even with myself because I know I can do better and be better but I don’t understand why I can’t motivate myself to do so. When I was young, I was such a motivated girl, I would do things just because someone told me I couldn’t and I made things happen. Before anyone thinks “well maybe it’s your depression” I had chronic depression disorder as a kid and somehow still pushed through it to accomplish goals without much family support. So what can it be? What is it about adult Telisha that just can’t seem to get it together? Short answer…..I have no freaking clue.
What I do know is that I would be a lot more successful in my life, if I wasn’t so inconsistent. If I didn’t tell myself “I’ll do it later” or “It’s not a good time now.” Instead I am sitting on my couch being stared down by my cat blogging about how I can’t get up and get things done. I know I sound like I am venting, like this post is more of a diary entry then anything but I am so over myself it’s not even funny. Truth be told, I have no answers, I have no excuses, I have no reasoning as to why it seems so hard for me to pick myself up and motivate myself to do better . All I can tell myself is, as long as I don’t give up, I’ll never fail. But have I not given up already and just not willing to admit it to myself?
Sad part is deep down I believe in my ability to write and I believe that I could accomplish my dreams of becoming a freelance writer, owning my own business and brand. Truth…. I believe in the idea of my dreams but not myself…not enough at least. Anyway, as an effort to change I told myself I absolutely was going to write a blog post today and I just wanted to write what was on my mind. Maybe just maybe sharing this public will give me the push I need, maybe coming to terms with who I have been to people I don’t even know will make a difference. It’s not always easy turning the mirror on yourself but sometimes it is necessary.
TlKitchen 